Microwave Massacre

This is one of those movies where the producer thinks if he slaps in some tits and ass, and adds a few severed limbs, that he could make a few bucks. And to tell you the truth, it worked. Although this is likely the worst movie ever made I still found it quit enjoyable. Microwave Massacre is exactly what the box says..."A creepy comedy about cadavers and cannibalism". 70's standup comedian Jackie Vernon stars as Donald, a construction worker whose nagging wife May drives him to murder. After months of unpleasant "health" foods from all over the word, Donald will go to any means possible to eat a bologna and cheese sandwich in his own home. After a long day on the job Donald comes home drunk as a skunk and not only has to put up with May's cooking but her mouth. Donald chops May's body up and pops it into her giant microwave oven. He later discovers, while looking for a bite to eat in the middle of the night, that May has more "good taste" than he ever gave her credit for. While taking cooked limbs of hers to work his fellow construction workers grow fond of the taste for his secret meat.

After they make comments of how old the meat is starting to taste, Donald claims he has a way to solve that. Now that Donald has grown a taste for murder and cannibalism he decides to take it to the next level. Picking up prostitutes all over his suburban neighborhood like Jack the Ripper, Donald become quit the meat salesman. Donald then develops an appetite for delicious blondes, brunettes, and redheads, all whom end up on his dinner table. Offering goodies in all different flavors his co-workers soon start to get hooked.

Always asking him for his recipe, Donald makes sure not to let too much information out. Their is one scene I thought was rather humorous where Donald is asked what's on the menu for the evening, and he responds "Peeking Chick" and says he has to pick it up down in China town. This isn't a grade A movie by far, but on a scale from B- to B+ I have to give this the latter. The most enjoyable part of the film besides the shapely bodies of some of his victims, is the music. The cheesy 70s porno music hits the spot, and fits in perfectly. This movie is like the Taxi Driver meets The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. If you can find a print of this movie in good condition I highly recommend it!

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